“In modern business it is not the crook who is to be feared most, it is the honest man who doesn't know what he is doing”

“A fool and his money are soon parted”

“The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind; the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity ”

“People who don't know how to keep themselves healthy ought to have the decency to get themselves buried, and not waste time about it.”

“It is not fit that every man should travel; it makes a wise man better, and a fool worse”

“In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards”