“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity”

“When in doubt tell the truth”

“Communism is like prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work.”

“I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts”

“True life is lived when tiny changes occur”

“Knowledge is of no value unless you put it into practice”