“A man should be taller, older, heavier, uglier, and hoarser than his wife”

“Marriage is an adventure, like going to war”

“I have come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying, and for this reason, I can never be satisfied with anyone who would be blockhead enough to have me”

“The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.”

“A reader seldom peruses a book with pleasure until he knows whether the writer of it be a black man or a fair man, of a mild or choleric disposition, married or a bachelor”

“Accident counts for much in companionship as in marriage”