“I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am”

“Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else”

“My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world”

“Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please”

“Delay is preferable to error.”

“Don’t count the chickens before they are hatched”