“A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain”

“Happiness: a good bank account, a good cook and a good digestion”

“Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.”

“Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too”

“An investment in knowledge pays the best interest”

“The world asks, what does a man own? Christ, how does he use it?”