“Happiness: a good bank account, a good cook and a good digestion”

“Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others”

“In an ugly and unhappy world the richest man can purchase nothing but ugliness and unhappiness”

“A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth”

“My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher”

“I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.”