“From happiness to suffering is a step; from suffering to happiness is an eternity.”

“Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock”

“Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?”

“You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony”

“I consider time as an in immense ocean, in which many noble authors are entirely swallowed up”

“No man, however strong, can serve ten years as schoolmaster, priest, or senator, and remain fit for anything else”