“Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?”

“When nations grow old, the arts grow cold and commerce settles on every tree.”

“America is the country where you buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for one dollar and use it up in two weeks”

“If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company; I've got more attachments on me than a vacuum cleaner”

“Had I but plenty of money, money enough and to spare, the house for me, no doubt, were a house in the city-square”

“A man must pay the fiddler, in my case it so happened that a whole symphony orchestra often had to be subsidized”